A LotRO role-player character blog. Yes, I know. Shut up.
At This Time: Moments In Peace
January 20, 2013Posted by on
From various characters recently, not necessarily on the same day or night.
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His spoon was clamped in his teeth as he looked around with bright eyes wide open in the earliest morning light. He nearly dropped the spoon, though. It was hard to hold it with a smile competing for his mouth’s attention. He shivered when he saw familiar things among less familiar ones. “Don’t worry, it gets less weird,” he’d been told. “The more time you spend here, the more it’ll feel like home and not just some weird place to sleep.” He had asked how long it took. He still didn’t know. But he kept looking around, and he kept smiling. He believed that one day he while he was looking, he would see it.
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He was laughing. He laughed a lot. It had been that way ever since he could remember, but it seemed to happen even more lately. Homecomings were always like that. Even when he couldn’t be with the ones who came home, he still felt like laughing just knowing they were back. It made everything better.
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He stood in the doorway to the room with his pipestem clamped between his teeth, and his eyes roamed the familiar walls and floor and ceiling. He drew smoke and then let it stream lazily out around his head as he marveled how much emptier and larger the room suddenly looked now. Had it been the same when his son had left the same room? He smiled to himself. He couldn’t deny that he’d miss them, but it wasn’t as if they were gone far away or forever. There would be fishing time again, and he’d spoil them again with his cooking. It’d just be in dribs and drabs now, is all. It would still be good.
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I meant to write back before, but things came up. We’re back home now, so I’ve got a little more time – and thawed out hands to do it with, too. Don’t know if you heard from anybody else that the company was in Forochel. We’re alright, save one. But I guess you could say he’s alright now, too. Daernil died, not only for something important, but I think he knew it was time. He’d been real sick for a while now. I’m glad he was able to know love fulfilled before the end.
Someday I might go to Esgaroth and write those poems and songs about it, like you said. Maybe after the war’s done I can do that. I’ll tell you something, Coroline. It might seem like the war’s closer there. But I’ve come to know that it’s never far away, truly. If everybody always thought it was, the whole world might be easier for darkness to take. And I hate how it’s like that. I can’t forget it, but I have to keep dreaming that the war’s over. One day it’ll be true.
Bah, never mind about the sad stuff for now. Just because it’s there don’t mean you can’t listen to the music, and nobody should ever feel guilty for wanting to. After all, those bright bits of peace and joy and reminders of all good things are pretty much the point of every bloody thing in life. And the world is truly full of beauty. Take good care of yourself, Coroline. Mathdor, too. Hope your journey home’s easy and safe whenever it comes.
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He kept his face turned up, and if anyone else had seen him, they’d surely be tempted to think no other smile could look so peaceful and content. The two white birds fluttered gracefully among the high rafters, chasing each other as if they were playing. But after a while their game ended and they came down as if they were tethered, and chose their perches on the smiling man’s arm. He petted them and made quiet cooing sounds, then laughed when they answered.
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